From The Last Weeks:
September 6th 2002
(1) Itís Saturday (August 24th 2002), 1:45
a.m. Together with some friends Iíve drowned the disaster of St. Pauli
loosing to VfB Luebeck 0:6. Now Iím sleeping on a couch in Luebeck, when
my mobileís ringing:
Claudia: The house is shaking and swaying!
Claudia: The house is shaking and swaying!
Corinna: My worldís spinning, too!
Claudia: Your worldís spinning, too?
Corinna: Indeed! But Iím in Luebeck!
Claudia: Oh. But here, everything is shaking
Corinna: Hey, and what do you want me to
do about it? Get in the car, drive to Hamburg and hold the building tight?
But, Iím not surprised to hear this anyway.
Corinna: Because I got two machines in my
flat, drying the walls and the floor of the apartment. Theyíre working
hard, sucking in the wet air and spitting out some incredibly hot and dry
air. Iím not surprised you can hear and feel them doing their jobs!
Claudia: Oh... and you canít turn them off?
Corinna: I sure could Ė but wouldnít that
slightly invalidate their purpose Ė donít you think?
Claudia: Possibly... But... Arenít they
Claudia: Arenít these machines dangerous?
Claudia: Couldnít they get on fire?
Corinna: Anything could get on fire. But
why should they? Theyíre just two fat machines, looking like R2D2ís cousins
and making a lot of hot fuzz. R2D2 isnít dangerous either!
Claudia: And you donít think they could
get on fire?
Corinna: Not really.
Claudia: I think, I will move out nonetheless...
Claudia: ... Iíll go to my parents place
tomorrow and they there as long as it lasts...
Claudia: ... and tonight Iíll stay with
Claudia: ... Iíll go there right now!
Corinna: Whatever you want...
Remember: All this at 2:00 a.m.!!!
(2) Itís Monday (August, 24th 2002) 8:00
a.m. Corinna is fast asleep. Since May Iíve not set my alarm anymore, every
day being sure to be woken up by hammering and sewing at 7:00 a.m. at the
latest. Strangely enough, not today. There are people working upstairs
but for some obscure reason theyíre keeping totally quiet today.
So at 8:00 a.m. I am woken by some
rather persistent knocks on my door...
Electrician: Good morning!
Electrician: Have you still been asleep?
Electrician: Weíre here to fit some electrics.
Corinna: What electrics?
Electrician: [taking a look at his clip
Corinna: Oh, what a plan! Everything?
Electrician: Yep! Everything!
Corinna: Great. OK. Look, there are three
options for you:
1. You are fitting everything upstairs.
Problem is, itís an absolute mess up there: There are piles of plaster-tiles
(to put up on the walls) everywhere. If you can fit your electrics Ė amongst
those piles and another couple of builders Ė into some not yet existing
walls, I wonít stop you!
2. You are fitting everything down
here. Problem is, I got two professional drying machines running here.
Collectively, theyíve managed to create a constant temperature of 37°
C (ca. 102° F) and youíre not allowed to open any windows.
Youíre very welcome to work naked
Ė be sure I donít mind... or
3. You bugger off and come back some
Electrician: Well... I think weíre off then...
(3) Itís Monday (August, 26th 2002)
morning, a little later. The electricians have left (!) and because Iím
still far too tired to get in the car and drive to work, I decide to take
a look at whatís happening upstairs.
Corinna: Moin! (Hamburgís way of saying
Corinna: Oh... starting to look better!
Builders: Yep, weíre on our way. And weíre
going to start with the walls soon, too!
Corinna: Oh, thatís interesting! Where are
you going to put the walls?
Builders: ... There... there... and there!
Corinna: Great idea this is not! This is
not where the walls are going to be!
Builders: Oh! Is it not?
Corinna: No, positively, not!
Builders: But... Isnít it in the plan?
Corinna: What plan?
Builders: Donít you have a plan?
Corinna: No. And you donít seem to have
one either. Therefore I doubt the existence of a plan altogether!
Builders: Oh... But... Where do you want
Corinna: No idea. Donít know whatís going
to be possible...
Builders: Anything is possible.
Corinna: OK, but not everything is making
Builders: True... Well, there is definitely
going to be a wall here [pointing to the sky-light of my kitchen].
Corinna: Definitely not! It would have to
be a flying wall otherwise!
Corinna: Because this is the sky-light of
Builders: The kitchenís got a sky-light?
Where is the kitchen!
I spare you the rest of this rather lengthy
discussion Ė it just got way too ridiculous...
Fact is, no-one ever really gave thought
to the question of where to put the walls... All I could do for an ad hoc
meeting with everyone involved in this project and try to make at least
a bit of sense...
By the way: So far, not a single wall has
PS. Iíve come off the idea of a mint-green
carpet... Iím thinking ice-blue-greyish things now...
* Claudia is my neighbour, whoís obviously
not called Claudia, but for reasons of security her name has been changed